“No rice, no spice” is social networking apps Scruff and Grindr parlance for “no East Asian men, no South Asian men.” Straight people aren’t nearly as upfront about their prejudices on Tinder, but having spoken to several women of colour about their time dating online, they seem to get fewer messages and matches than other women and are frequently racially fetishized when they do connect.
“I’ve personally experienced plenty of this,” Buggs tells me.
, but Asian men are often left out of the discussion over interracial relationships entirely.
As one of my black female friends put it, "Asian men, along with black women, are probably the least desirable people."A conducted by researchers at Columbia University, which surveyed a group of over 400 students who participated orchestrated "speed dating" sessions, showed that African-American and white women said "yes" 65% less often to the prospect of dating Asian men in comparison of men of their own race, while Hispanic women said yes 50% less frequently.
"There's also this idea of relative invisibility, but that applies to all Asian-Americans."Given the constant stereotyping Asian-American men face in the media, Asian-American men approaching non-Asian women often either feel an unnecessary burden to prove themselves against Asian stereotypes or keep to themselves in fear of rejection.
Over time, I forced myself to look past the stigmas that defined Asian males and worked to counter them. For some, the anxiety over being an Asian male that I once harbored can seem like an overreaction.
"For me, there is no pressure [in asking a non-Asian woman out]," said my friend Anthony Ma, whose ex-girlfriend was Mexican.
A similar story presents itself when we deconstruct black women in popular culture.
In film and television, black women are often portrayed as two-dimensional “strong and sassy” stereotypes (see: Leslie Jones’ character in “) When cast as a romantic interest, they’re usually played by biracial or multiracial women with lighter skin tones, such as Halle Berry or Zendaya.“Society tells us that black women are hypersexual but also more masculine than other women, while it suggests that Asian men are less masculine — to the point of being effeminate — and that they are physically less attractive,” says Shantel Buggs, a Ph D Candidate in sociology at the University of Texas.