But aesthetics aside, once the sex is underway, it doesn’t necessarily make that much of a difference.
Anyone who’s seen knows that sex can be transcendentally hot and orgasmic with no penises involved at all. In the past, whenever I’ve gone to bed with a guy and realized he had a small penis, I immediately became worried that he was embarrassed or uncomfortable, which, of course, made me feel uncomfortable for him, which then made the whole situation uneasy.
All of this was in the name of comedy, of course, but as everyone in the theater around me roared with laughter, I found myself thinking: Only a man who actually has a microscopic dick would ever write a joke like that. Before I finish my story, I should probably mention that I don’t really mind small dicks.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s something very beautiful and majestic and virile about the sight of a large, erect penis.
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I might have let the joke slip by unanalyzed if it weren’t for how he went into lengthy detail about the years of insecurity he’d suffered because of his tiny penis, confessing that he special-orders tiny condoms online, because even the smallest condoms available in stores are too baggy and just slip off. But despite this, I agreed to go on a dinner date with the filmmaker the following week, because, well, I really liked him.
In the case of the filmmaker, he made up for his size in other ways, by being attentive, skilled at talking dirty, and gifted with his hands and mouth.
And yeah, when it was inside, it kind of felt like nothing, but honestly a lot of dicks feel like nothing to me, unless they’re really big, at which point they often just become painful. Also, I tend to be wary of very well-endowed men—those guys who since high school have been hearing girls shriek “Oh my god, it's so big!
I sort of expected him to acknowledge it—especially given his film’s epic tiny peen monologue—but instead he just flipped me over and spanked me.
He was really dominant in bed, which totally turned me on, and his confidence prevented me from having to feel any vicarious sexual anxieties, as I had with most of the small-dicked men of my past.