at the beginning of any new relationship people love the desires and individualism of their new partner, but this in large is what we sacrifice for or important others.people are not static and we are all individuals with emotions and needs that change as we age. Perhaps, if Trevor cheated on you, berated you in public, gave you a couple black eyes or called you a fat, ugly whore, he might earn the title, but for breaking up with you? Very rarely do guys actually want to inflict pain on you. Non-committal, not ready for a relationship, whatever you want to call it-- that's it! Not the bad boy himself, but his inability to commit. Arguably the best guy of them all, Edward Cullen, also has commitment issues. Meanwhile, a lot of women out there are hurting great guys that genuinely want to commit and be in a relationship, but that’s not what we want, we want the dumbass challenge. Trevor is an asshole, because he was honest about his feelings? He would call and leave stupid sappy voicemails, do a hysterical Kermit impression, and surprise visit you in France while you were studying abroad, because he knew you didn't want to be alone for the holidays. Of course he did in other ways, but he had a good heart. If it's too easy to get the guy, then she might think, "Wait, he just fell into my lap. Just look at the whole Tiger Woods situation, a beautiful wife and he still cheats.i can't say i understand my own needs, never mind trying to work out what my partner ideas of perfection might be.?I'm not a mind reader, but sometimes i wish i was.!
SBK writes: "Bad boys tend to have lots of positive traits that come along for the ride of the badness such as good looks, confidence, creativity, humor, charisma, high energy, and good social skills-- all things women find attractive." He also found that for men "one striking direct path to mating success stood out... Women typically only need to look good and hang out at the right places, make some eye contact and respond appropriately. Interesting post, and kudos to you for examining your own assumptions. There is a different type of asshole in my opinion, a softer gentle kind of asshole. Not someone that can't commit because he has insecurity problems.Picture a swanky single's bar scene with a curvy babe and a guy who is trying to "woo" her.The caption has him going: "I'm not talking about a permanent commitment, I'm talking about marriage...".The point being that even the highest level of commitment currently available, marriage, isn't really commitment any longer. That holy grail of commitment, marriage, has been reduced to being hardly more than notarized living together.It's just provisional commitment -- until the nature of the relationship changes. This has little or nothing to do with personal problems or "issues", it's structural, built into system.as commitment settles, we end up resenting the free ideas that our partner may still hold, afraid that these ideas may eventually lead them to other shores.when in a relationship most times people are constrained from searching for what they really desire. But once women get older and had their experiences, they realize that they want a man that’s emotionally stable. At the very least, it's comforting to know that I'm not inexorably drawn to Women chase after these kinds of men when the women themselves are in there 20's and maybe early 30's.